"“When we write a joke, we never ask, ‘Who’s gonna get this?’ We always say, ‘The right people will get this’.” - Joel Hodgson"
she's built like a steakhouse, but she handles like a bistro
Old Lady is too content at home in front of the furnace to go downtown to Mardi Gras. sorry, fanciful unicorn getup.
on the plus side I’ve got a real good head start on Halloween.
YES, I’M SURE I JUST TRIED TO FIX IT WRONG. STICK A PAPERCLIP IN IT? GENIUS
good luck with that. while you’re Fixing The Problem, i’ll be purchasing emergency rations.
what was that waiter’s name in Paris? fuck, we can’t afford Paris, who are we kidding?
the perfect 3-tweet short story.
Paul the Warwilf: I’m a writer.
Natalie: Really? What’s the subject matter?
Tom Servo: You’re right, subject doesn’t matter at all."
we have to sacrifice someone so david bowie never dies
i think he said no, but im not sure, so lets go with yes
We know he wants it.